” A worthy woman who can find? For her price is above rubies. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he shall have no lack of gain. She does him good, not evil, all the days of her life.”
Proverbs 31:10, possibly one of the clearest chapters for women who desire to lead godly lives. In fact, the title of this passage is The Woman Who Fears the Lord. Honestly, I love this chapter; it is such a clear directive for women, it leaves nothing out, nothing to chance. I’m so very glad that God works like that. How great is it that we serve a god who loves us so much that He doesn’t hesitate to tell us in exact detail just how we can serve Him in the best way?
My question to you today is: if we read the passages in this chapter, pray about them and dissect them line by line, can we take the lessons we learn from it and apply them to the way men should value women and approach their relationships with their wives? I think we can, I think that this may just be one of the best chapters in the Bible that allows us to do just that.
Now don’t get me wrong, there are so many great books, chapters, and verses that instruct men how to be godly and how to faithfully serve their wives. So what makes Proverbs 31 different? Well, I truly believe that if a man wants to have a Proverbs 31 wife, then he needs to be the sort of man who can appreciate her and help her to grow those godly characteristics the passage. If you haven’t read Proverbs 31:10 by now (which you really should go do before you finish this) I’ll highlight some of the key characteristics that this chapter encourages women to develop:
- Trustworthiness- this quality is addressed in the 1st three lines
- Hardworking v.13, 27
- Productive v.15, 16, 27
- Contemplative v.16
- Financially Savy v.16, 18
- Physically strong v.17
- Generous v.20
- Creative v.22, 24
- Dignified v.25
- Without fear or anxiety v.21, 25
- Wise v.26
- Kind v.26
- Respected v.28, 31
And then, after laying out all the characteristics men should seek in a wife, and all that women should aspire to be, the author takes it one step further with the final three verses. Its on these three verses that I base this post:
“There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all! Charm is deceptive and beauty does not last, but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.”
Men, if you’re reading this, please take note of the bold verses. Pay Attention! Don’t just take note of these verses; memorize them and repeat them every single day. Here we see God’s full instructions for how a Proverbs 31 woman is to be treated. She is to be praised! She is to be rewarded! How can you expect your wife to strive every day to be this sort of woman if she feels all her hard work and dedication aren’t appreciated? If she is not supported in her hard work, if she is not encouraged, what incentive does she have to continue working so hard? Yes, she should find her ultimate strength and support in the Lord, this goes without saying, but here we see God instructing you men to build up your wives as well.
Go back to the first verse of this chapter read it again and pay attention. I fully believe that this chapter is not only speaking on how a woman is to be a good wife, but also how she can aspire to be worthy of God. Men, remember that your wives belong to God first and foremost. He loves your wives with a deep and abiding love. He delights in them for they are His daughters; and He desires that as He allows you to hold them close in your arms while they are here on earth that you care for them and love them deeply. Their foremost responsibility is to be worthy of God, before they try to be worthy of you.
Men, women will not be youthful, trim, charming, witty, and endlessly energetic forever. We all like to think we will; but time, children, and the endless work of every day life will all take their tole on our bodies. Our muscles will soften, our skin will wrinkle, our hair will grey, and all of these things will combine to make us doubt ourselves every now and again when we look in the mirror and fail to recognize the women looking back at us. God knows better than we do however, He knows that however fleeting our physical beauty is, the characteristics laid out in Proverbs 31 are timeless and should be appreciated and sought after. Men, please don’t forget this. Yes, physical attraction is great and wonderful in marriage, but it is not everything. Please, if you want your wife to be all of these things, then you need to be the kind of man who is worthy of such a wife.
If you want her to be trustworthy, you should be as well. If you want her to be strong, you should encourage her strength, help her as she seeks to stay physically fit, and strive to maintain your own fitness as well. If she is to be productive, creative, and generous; then she needs freedom to develop these talents and she needs to see you being productive at home as well. This may mean you take the children for an hour or two once or twice a week, without complaint, so that she can get things done and express her creative talents. It also means that you if you want her to be able to express her financial skills then you should probably trust her to be faithful to your family budget and not question her every time she spends money.
Men, if you desire a Proverbs 31 wife: a woman who will make you happy all the days of your life, a woman who loves and obeys you and creates a warm, loving home for you and your children, then you need to be a Proverbs 31 man, worthy of her and all she brings to your marriage.
Women, take note as well! Not only should you be faithfully striving to embody these godly characteristics for your husband, but you should not forget that you deserve a husband who respects you and will praise you for all your hard work. Don’t get me wrong, he does not have to bow down and kiss your feet and count his lucky stars every night that he has you; that’s not what Biblical love and marriage looks like. But he should be a godly husband and more importantly, a godly man. Ladies, pray for your husbands. Encourage them. Support them and share this post with them. Be open and honest; men are not mind readers and we cannot expect them to be. Marriage really is what you put in to it. If you put much in, you will get much out. Proverbs 31 is just one of many chapters in the Bible that promises this.