The following was sent to me in email form from my very dear friend, sister in Christ, and cousin. I asked her immediately if I could share it with you all because I feel like this is so representative of how we all feel at times as mamas who spend all their time and energy making life great for our children and for some, our husbands. If we are not careful we can get caught up in the striving and spend more time pursuing perfection than actually loving on our family and appreciating God’s blessings in our lives. Anyway, I feel like her beautifully raw and honest representation of how life REALLY looks for a mama is worth sharing as it is definitely going to speak to other women the way it spoke to me. So without further ado,
“On my drive to church this morning, I was pondering my blessings. It was a beautiful day. I just felt so loved and blessed. I know this had to be from my Abba!!
You see, I hate messes. And I so love everything to be neat and clean. And always looking good.
I am a mother!! I have four beautiful children on earth and one in Heaven. We see a LOT of messes!! As a mom to trauma affected kiddos whose lives are a mess, the peace I felt can only be from God!! And I am so thankful for the many, many blessings He has given!!
I am trying to not count success by how many loads of laundry I washed AND put away in the same day. Or by whether my floor stayed crumb free, or if I got it washed in the last month😳. And on and on. House work does not count for eternity!! Only my children’s lives will prove whether I focused on what counts.
My blessings are when my child who struggles to feel loved, because of how they were thought of prenatally, looks me in the eyes and wraps his beautiful brown arms around me and says I love you!! My heart is full when my oldest takes time to help her little sis so sweetly when she would much rather be having all the attention herself. My heart over flowed when my freshly washed and combed hair got all messed up because my newest son pulled both my ears to get a better grip for giving me a kiss!!;) my baby girl tucking her sweet little head in my neck just to say she loves me.
I have always dreamed of a multi cultural family. I married the man of my dreams who was in love with my dream too. I have the support and wisdom I need from my husband as we follow our amazing journey God has us on!!
Oh it doesn’t always look so wonderful and loving.
The other day I had to run into a store for a bit. My newest son staged a big fit right in the door of the store. He laid flat out kicking and screaming!! I quickly gave my youngest girl to big sis to hold and instantly big sis had paralysis. Could not hold that baby for anything so down drops baby. Next son saw his chance for some fun and soon I felt like this was the craziest moment of my life. The EMT worker behind me was sure she would have to do some intervention I’m sure. With God’s grace we all got out of that store!!;) I actually had to laugh. I do wonder what we looked like!!;) and so goes our days;) always something to laugh over (or cry but mostly we can laugh!)
So as I think of all my blessings, I think how amazing that God chose our family to parent these beautiful kiddos!! God knew that His grace is sufficient to get us through the challenges that will come. We do not walk this way alone. God is right beside us. He has worked all things for good in our lives this far and we know He will continue. It will look like a mess at times. But our lives are under construction, so please pardon the mess!
Musings from one blessed mommy!!!”