Disclaimer; this may or may not offend quite a few people. For that I am sorry. I firmly believe what I am about to write and I sincerely hope it can be read just as I intend to write it, with gentleness, grace, and respect.This is just my opinion however and I am in no way trying to pass myself off as some sort of expert on women or how they feel; we have enough men and women with expensive college degrees who can do that for us. The authority I look to on this matter is my Heavenly Father and the Word of God.
That being said: if I hear another woman or young girl claim to be a modern day feminist I may just scream. Please don’t misunderstand me, I am just as eager for women to receive the fair treatment they deserve as the next person. I think that the lack of respect women can expect to receive from today’s society is not only sad but abhorrent. Honestly, I think the lack of respect people have for one another in general is cringe worthy but that is an entirely different topic for another day.
Society has really done a number on us women recently if you ask me. They have us convinced that we have to defend our selves time after time when we hear someone say, “You run, throw, swim, talk or do anything like a girl.” Or better yet when we hear comments about we should, “go back to the kitchen,” or “make someone a sandwich,” and sadly these phrases are some of the nicest things we can expect to hear.
Women have to fight a battle for respect very single day. Society teaches men that we are merely sex objects when they place the scantily clad bodies of our sisters high on billboards and in shopping mall windows. They spread the lie that these women are the standard for beauty that all women should aspire to and that unless we have the ability to squeeze ourselves into skinny jeans and a crop top that leaves little or nothing to the imagination no man will ever find us worthy of his attentions. Then they have the nerve to tell us that the women who gets raped or the young girl who gets molested by an older boy on the school bus was, “asking for it,” because she fell for society’s lies and put her body on display in the same crop top and skinny jeans that they told her would make her look and feel beautiful.
Even worse yet, our very own sisters publish books wherein the main female characters allow themselves to be treated as the playthings of men. Allow themselves to be manipulated and abused both physically and emotionally, to be treated as sex objects with no more value or purpose to serve aside from making men feel good and in control in the bedroom. These books turn into movies and women flock to the theater alongside men to see the degradation of their sisters and be entertained by it. If they choose not to participate in this self degradation of the female gender or worse yet, speak out against it, we are told to keep quiet, stop being prudish, and take our outdated views elsewhere. We are told to “behave ourselves.”
In an effort to combat these negative voices that we hear every day it may be tempting to fall for another lie that society has told us. One that is not so obviously destructive or hurtful. This is the lie of the modern feminist movement. You see, this movement is all about showing everyone that women are just as strong, capable, and hardcore as men and can fill all the roles that men do and then go home and take care of our homes, husbands, and children. It is like the old nursery rhyme we used to sing as kids, “Anything you can do I can do better, I can do anything better than you.”
This is a lie! It is sneaky, deceptive, manipulative, and anything but feminist. In fact it devalues the roles females were placed on earth to fill more successfully than anything else can. And women are leading the charge to make this movement happen. The enemy of our souls has got to be leaping for joy! Who needs society to tell us that we aren’t good enough when we women are so eager to tell that to each other the second we have a disagreement about this? We tell our sisters that they should strive to be just as strong as men, just as capable, and just as willing to push people’s buttons. We are eager to laugh in people’s faces if our feminism offends them because anyone who dares to tell us that we can’t have our cake and eat it too is a negative person and we don’t need them in our lives!
Well I may rock the boat on this one but let me tell you something, if you fall for this lie you will never get the chance to eat your cake because you will be so physically and emotionally depleted that you may just fall asleep with your face on the table. Women were not meant to be as strong as men. At least not physically. Some women may be exceptions to this rule but for the most part the majority are not. We simply are not built the same way.
Don’t get me wrong, I applaud those of my gender who prove themselves capable of extreme feats of endurance and strength that many men cannot even handle. But we cannot expect all women to do these things.
I applaud the women who can maintain their svelte model-esque bodies, run corporate fortune 500 companies, and then come home and take care of their houses, husbands, and children. But I do not envy them one bit because I have a sneaking suspicion that when they come home they are too exhausted to even dream of taking care of all of their duties at home and they probably dream of a day where they could just sit on the couch in their pajamas and watch reruns of Grey’s Anatomy. Their husbands may feel the strain of their wives’ hectic lives, and their children probably miss them more than they can say.
Heaven forbid we women speak out against the lie that we should be able to do it all. Our feminist sisters will no sooner admit that women were not created to do it all, than parade around time square in a full length skirt, high necked shirt, hair undone and no makeup to speak of. If anyone woman, or man decides to argue this fact they will be skewered by sharp wit, a stiletto, or maybe even stomped by an army boot.
Now before I go any further I have to ask that if anything I say is making you angry or defensive in any way please turn to the following scriptures;
1 Peter 3:7
1 Peter 3: 1
Titus 2: 1-5
Read them with an open mind and humble heart just as I had to do when God began showing me these things. I myself am guilty of trying to maintain the facade that I can do everything and never feel the drag of exhaustion. I was once tempted to follow this modern day feminist movement wholeheartedly. That is, I was before God revealed to me that this movement is in fact devaluing the feminism of women, the beautiful fragility and vulnerability that God wove into our very natures. We are strong, but not as strong as men. Our strength comes from a different source. We are beautiful, but not because of how our bodies look when we push them day after day to their physical limits. God’s word even says we can inspire change without having to speak a word! Our strength and beauty comes from our gentle spirits.
God made us the weaker sex. That much is very clear. He made us this way not to hinder us however but to grow us, enliven us, and free us from the burdens our male counterparts face. We have our own burdens after all, ones that no man would ever be able to handle day after day. Just ask your husband to watch the children, clean the house, pay the bills, and cook you dinner for a week and you will see what I mean.
Now I am in no way saying women should not work outside the home or strive to maintain a healthy body image. We can and should do those things if we wish to. We should not do so at the expense of our god given roles however. We have certain duties that must come first. We need to see to them before we decide to seek satisfaction in outside work. We must realize that these roles which God intended us to fill are worthy of all our attentions and efforts and worthy of respect. We must respect the women who choose to simply work at home and raise their children, because there is nothing simple about what they choose to do. We need to respect those women who have a slippered foot in one world and a stilettoed heal in the other whether out of choice or necessity. We need to respect the woman who wears army boots one day and then picks up her husband’s dry cleaning the next. We need to build each other up.
I realize these things are old fashioned but they are necessary. Modern feminists are not for us. They are being deceived. They are being told that we can have it all and do it all and this is the worst kind of lie. We swallow this lie and when we do, the truth that comes directly from our Lord looks like a lie and anyone who dares to share these truths with us appear to be threatening our self image. We cut each other apart with our words when we disagree with one another, but then we wonder why society devalues women’s roles and why men have lost their sense of chivalry.
So please ladies, stop falling for these lies. Stop wounding those women who dare to disagree with you on these points. And if you still think I am wrong, please turn to God’s word and see what our Heavenly Father has to say about these matters. He is the ultimate authority after all.