Today is my birthday! Yippie!
Honestly, this whole year has been such a blessing that when I woke up this morning my birthday didn’t seem as all consuming as it normally does. I didn’t immediately check Facebook to see how many people had remembered that today was my birthday. Instead, I got up and kissed my amazing husband, went into baby L’s bedroom and had a nice, quiet nursing/cuddling session before coming downstairs and enjoying some quiet time with my hubby and a cup of coffee before he headed off to work.
I realized something amazing, I am so content.
Then I sat down and started my quiet time with the Lord. Lately I’ve been reading Numbers, I started making my way through the Old Testament when baby L was born and this is how far I’ve come. And it is here that I landed on my birthday wish for this year.
It starts with a story;
The story of Balaam’s Donkey and The Angel.
“When the donkey saw the Angel of the Lord, she lay down under Balaam. And Balaam’s anger was kindled and he struck her with his staff. The the Lord opened the mouth of the donkey, and she said to Balaam, “What have I done to you, that you have struck me these three times?” and Balaam said to the donkey, “Because you have made a fool of me. I wish I had a sword in my hand, for then I would kill you.” And the donkey said to Balaam, “Am I not your donkey, on which you have ridden all your life long to this day? Is it my habit to treat you this way?” and he said, “No.”
Then the Lord opened the eyes of Balaam, and he saw the Angel of the Lord standing in the way, with his sword drawn in his hand. And he bowed down and fell on his face. And the Angel of the Lord said to him, “Why have you struck your donkey these three times? Behold, I have come out to oppose you because your way is perverse before me.”
Wow! After reading this story I was so convicted. I have been Balaam so many times in my life. Lashing out at my friends, my family, and even God himself when I can’t see where God is leading me and I am determined to go my own way. Its not until God then proceeds to open my eyes that I see what I’ve done and the people I’ve hurt in the process. And yes, like Balaam I often feel like quite a fool.
I don’t want to be like Balaam anymore. Blind to wisdom and stubborn in my own way.
I want my heart to be soft and open to seeing the wisdom of the Lord. I want to be humble. To trust that even when His plans haven’t been revealed to me yet, God always has my best interests in mind. He always has and he always will. He has never led me astray.
So this is my birthday wish this year, I am wishing for:
- An open heart
- A spirit willing to be led
Lord, please soften my spirit and help me to be gracious when others see what I am not aware of yet. Help me to heed others when they see your way and I don’t. And please let me look at all things through eyes of faith so that even when I don’t see the path ahead of me as clearly as I’d like I can go forward knowing you will be there to direct my steps and change my direction when necessary. Thank you for revealing these things to me today of all days Lord. Thank you for convicting me. Thank you for your word Father!
In Jesus’ Name,